问：你谈过很多关于嫉妒的丑陋，是的，那非常丑陋，但能给我们这些没有得到启发的苦于这种疾病的人一点建议吗？怎样弱化它？
OSGBuddha：
首先，弱化它不会有帮助。你可以弱化它，你以多大的比例弱化它，它就以多大的比例以几乎不可见的形式存在，那不会有帮助。弱化只是意味着你把它丢进了无意识，它会越来越深地进入你存在的地基，变得不可见。你可能看不见它，但它会一直暗箱操作，它会在背后一直拉扯你。它会变得更精微，请不要试图弱化它。
第一件要记住的事：与其减弱它不如放大它，这样你才会看到它的全貌。那就是这里所有团体在进行的整个过程——格式塔、遭遇小组、心理戏剧。整个过程就是无论问题是什么，不要去弱化它，而是放大它。如其所是地全部展示出来——甚至要夸张地放大，这样你就能看清每一个细节。在过去的几百年里，嫉妒、愤怒、悲伤，这个那个，全都被压抑了，努力地减小它。不，一颗种子就是一棵被缩小的树，但种子有着无比的力量。种子可以在任何时候再次成为一棵树。正确的机缘，正确的理由……树就会再次发芽。你可以减少你的嫉妒，那样它只会变成一颗种子，你看不到它，树隐匿了，但它还在。
弱化它不是一个正确的程序，那就是你所做的，那就是你对你的生命所做的：你弱化所有的东西。而且还有一件事，当你弱化了嫉妒，你的爱也被弱化了，被晾在一边，因为你的爱与嫉妒是如此紧密地相互交织在一起。如果你弱化你的悲伤，你的快乐也会被弱化，因为你的快乐与悲伤也是紧密交织的。如果你弱化你的恨，你的爱会消失——那就是所发生的事。有人教导你不要恨，而那全部的结果就是你无法爱。
不，请不要去弱化任何事，那不是办法。与其如此，不如放大，夸张地放大，让它全部绽开，这样就能看清它——每一个细节，每一个细微之处。在那样的觉知里，在那个看里，你就能够超越它，那就不需要对它做任何事。
第二件事：你说：“你说了很多关于嫉妒的丑陋。是的，非常丑陋……”不，你不知道，你只是在简单地重复我说过的话。如果你知道它十分丑陋，在那个知道里它就会消失。你不知道。你听我说过，听椰酥说过，听佛佗说过，你收集了这些观点，你并不知道。那并不是你自己的感觉，嫉妒是丑陋的。如果那是你自己的感觉，为什么还要携带着它？那不是一件容易的事，那是一个大项投资。嫉妒是一件非常难的事，它需要你很多的努力，很多的投入。对你自身的毁灭性极强，如果它是丑陋的，而你已经知道了它的丑陋，你就不会再携带它一个片刻。但听着我说你开始有了知识。
听说……
“你不能进来，”焦急的母亲警告说：“我儿子病了。”
“我想染上你儿子的麻疹，”男人说：“因为如果我亲吻护士，她就会传染上。她会亲吻医生，医生就会被传染。医生会亲吻我的妻子，她也会染上。我妻子会亲吻房东，那才是我要找的人。”
那是一个巨大的投资，巨大的努力，一个非常复杂的现象。
最终，它可能会摧毁。摧毁的很可能不是别人——一定是你自己，那是自杀。那不只是丑陋，而是有毒。那是在自杀，你每天都在扼杀自己，慢慢地，慢慢地。
去看这其中的事实，不要只是变得有知识。我所说的不会成为你的经验，除非你经历过它。怎样去经历呢？那就是把它呈现在你面前，现在它是隐藏在后面的。
不要压抑它，要表达。坐在房间里，关上门，把你的嫉妒带到聚光灯下。观察它，看着它，让它像一团火焰一样尽可能地强烈。让它变成一团强烈的火焰，在燃烧中去看，它到底是什么。
不要在一开始就说它是丑陋的，因为那个丑陋的想法本身就会压制它，会不允许它全然地表达。没有任何观点！只是试着去看那个存在性的影响，嫉妒是什么，看那个存在性的事实。没有解读，没有意识形态！忘掉诸佛所说的，忘掉我。只是让嫉妒存在，看着它，深深地看着它，对待愤怒、悲伤、恨、占有也是一样。
慢慢地，你会发现只是借助这个穿透性地看，你开始产生一种超越感，你只是一个观照，认同被打破了。只有当你与内在遭遇，外在的认同才会被打破。
YOU SPEAK A LOT ABOUT THE UGLINESS OF JEALOUSY. YES, IT IS QUITE UGLY, BUT ANY SUGGESTIONS TO US SUFFERERS OF THE DISEASE WHO AREN’T ENLIGHTENED ON HOW TO DIMINISH IT?
A：
First, diminishing it is not going to help. You can diminish it to such proportions that it will almost become invisible, but that is not going to help. Diminishing simply means that you are throwing it into the unconscious and it goes into your basement of being more and more deeply. It becomes invisible. You may not be able to see it, but it will go on working from the back, it will go on pulling your strings from the back. It will become more subtle. Please don’t try to diminish it.
The first thing to remember: rather than diminish it, magnify it so you can see the whole of it. That is the whole process of all the groups going on around here — Gestalt, Encounter, Psychodrama. The whole process is that whatsoever the problem is, please don’t diminish it but magnify it. Bring it totally as it is — even exaggerate it so that you can see every detail of it. Down the centuries in the past, jealousy, anger, sadness, this and that, all have been repressed. The effort was to diminish it. No, a seed is a diminished tree, but a seed is tremendously powerful. A seed can at any time again produce a tree. The right situation, the right season… and the tree will again sprout. You can diminish your jealousy, it can become just a seed, and you will not be able to see it, the tree has disappeared, but it is there.
Diminishing is not the right process. That’s what you have been doing, that’s what you have done to your life: you have diminished everything. And one thing more. When you diminish jealousy, your love will be diminished alongside, because your love and jealousy are so much entangled with each other. If you diminish your sadness, your happiness will be diminished, because your happiness and sadness are so much together. If you diminish your hate, your love will disappear — that’s what has happened. You have been taught not to hate and the total result is that you have become incapable of love.
No, please don’t diminish anything. That is not the way. Rather, magnify, exaggerate, bring it to its total blossoming and then see it — every detail of it, every minute detail of it. In that very awareness, in that very seeing, you will become capable of transcending it and then there will be no need to do anything about it.
The second thing: you say ‘You speak a lot about the ugliness of jealousy. Yes, it is ugly…’. No, you don’t know. You are simply repeating what I have been saying. If you know it is quite ugly, in that very knowing it will disappear. You don’t know. You have listened to me, you have listened to Jesus, you have listened to Buddha and you have gathered opinions. You don’t know. It is not your own feel that jealousy is ugly. If it is your own feel, why should you carry it? It is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of investment. To be jealous is a very difficult thing: it needs a lot of effort on your part, a lot of involvement. It is so destructive of your own self that if it is ugly and you have known the ugliness of it, you cannot carry it for a single moment. But listening to me you become knowledgeable.
I have heard…
‘You can’t come in here’ the worried mother warned ‘my son is sick.’
‘I want to catch your son’s measles’ the man said ‘because if I kissed the nurse she’d get it. She would kiss the doctor and he’d get it. The doctor would kiss my wife and she’d get it. My wife would kiss the landlord and that’s the guy I’m after.’
It is a great investment, a great effort and a very complex phenomenon.
And finally, it may destroy. It may not destroy others — it certainly destroys you; it is suicidal. Not only that it is ugly, it is poisonous; it is suicidal, it is killing yourself every day, slowly, slowly.
See the fact of it. Don’t just become knowledgeable. What I say will not become an experience for you unless you experience it. And what is the way to experience it? The way is to bring it in front of you. It is hiding behind you.
Don’t repress it, express it. Sit in your room, close the doors, bring your jealousy into focus. Watch it, see it, let it take as strong a flame as possible. Let it become a strong flame, burn into it and see what it is.
And don’t from the very beginning say that this is ugly, because that very idea that this is ugly will repress it, will not allow it total expression. No opinions! Just try to see the existential effect of what jealousy is, the existential fact. No interpretations, no ideologies! Forget Buddhas and work, forget me. Just let the jealousy be there. Look into it, look deeply into it and so do with anger, so do with sadness, hatred, possessiveness.
And by and by you will see that just by seeing through things you start getting a transcendental feeling that you are just a witness; the identity is broken. The identity is broken only when you encounter something within you
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